3 January 2012

Cultivating Your Inner Life

I have just started to read again, after a long while. I picked up this book, "Cultivating Your Inner Life" by Pastor Edmund Chan at my church book store and read the first few chapters. The chapters are short, crisp, touching and authentic. No hard sells. No self elevation (if anything, it is from a posture of meekness that the other authors know little about). Just good old sharing from one who walks with God and is passing on things that are real and important.

One of the thoughts that struck me was where Ann asked the author, "If Christ is real, why is your life that?". Ann asked him who was then back-sliding and this proved to be the question that helped him realised his error and started him to turn back.

This spoke to me, as in many ways my life does not reflect my association with Jesus. I claimed to be a Christian but my close ones can tell the incongruity.

Also, on a deeper front, it spoke to me of my own rejection of God too. I need to return to Jesus and not continue to be angry and rebellious. Interestingly - it was the same description that the author used to described himself when he was a teenager in rebellion.

Why am I still far away from God? I have prayed. Sought counsel. Confessed and forgiven. For years now. Still, I felt there is a distance from God. Dark night of the Soul ? These are times of unknown, but one thing is certain - I need to return and to read His Word again. Help me Lord.

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