26 November 2007

Life Goals & Purposes

Every once a while, when I hit a life-block, example like a down moment, depressed by some insolent & indifferent student, I asked myself the familiar question, “What on earth am I doing here? Am I wasting away my life?”

In my church's discipleship training program, I have learnt that when such questions arise, I got to take a step back in the Core Curriculum wheel. I.e. in this instance, I struggle with an issue of purpose, I need to move one step back, to Biblical Identity. I need to work on this area in my life – Who am I? And the real cause of the problems, the Root problem is in one further step back, i.e. Biblical Allegiance – Who is my REAL master? Is it God or am I still struggling to be the Master of my own life?

While I spend time thinking about my Life goals and trying to re-align them to get some sense of purpose, my real root problem is really the struggle with Allegiance. I still want to be the LORD of my own life. I cannot fully trust God to run my life. I felt that He has messed it up so far. Did He? Or was it my interference? i.e. in not fully living in the way that He requires.

Don’t hack at the branches. Deal directly and decisively with the roots. I need to repent and surrender my life afresh. Not just mentally or superficially. But wholeheartedly.

This is an oft recurrent issue, which means I have not really dealt with it fully. How do I surrender fully to the Lord? Where do I need to die more?

Lead me Lord to deal with it fully. Amen.


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