30 September 2007

Serving again

I was moved by the many brothers and sisters around me in church last night and this morning. They really served enthusiastically. There were serving God and not men. They were serving tirelessly, Saturday night and first thing Sunday morning(Judy's testimony was stirring!). Many were serving continually, week after week, without a break, in the Sunbeam ministry(children's ministry). And where was I?

1.5 years ago, I was like that for a straight 15 good years. Serving my hearts out in the Boys Brigade ministry. Now, I sit back and with cold hearts - unmoved and un-involved. Nonchalant. Hurt. Dis-illusioned.

Yet, deep within, I knew that I need to serve again. It's God's design for my well-being. As I water others, I myself will be watered (not being watered while holding back). Yet, the inertia is so strong and hard.

I do not know if Children's ministry is the right fit for me. Perhaps, Men's ministry? For one who used to teach others to find a ministry to serve in, I'm sure hopeless when it comes to myself.

Lord, show me the way. I'm not where I should be in now. And it is not helping me at all.

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