10 August 2007

Emotional Dwarfs (2)

Sometimes words of wisdom come from the most "unlikely" person. In my case this morning, it came from the drink counter cashier at West Mall Bukit Batok.

Every Sunday we would frequent the food court here after 8am service. Today we did the same, the only difference being I asked them to go ahead while I check out our financial status at the ATM machine.

At the foodcourt, I walked to my usual Dim Sum store and ordered my favourite Chee Cheong Fun, "2 rolls please". From afar I can see my wife gesticulating to me and pointing to the table where they were seating. When she walked nearer she gave me an angry face that said, "I bought your food already!"

It was my turn to be angry. How am I to know?! What a waste of money! Why did you buy for me out of the blue? We tried to return the food, but in vain. At the table, I slammed down the plate and became even angrier when I see the 2 plates side by side. She continue to justify her actions while I was not listening as I was boiling mad inside. Not a good start after church service.

Shortly after, the drink queue shortened and i went to order our drinks. It came to $3.10. I thought I had the change for ten cents, but it turned out that I did not. "It's okay, small matter, don't worry" she said in Mandarin. If it was another auntie, she would have gave me a black face and some unpleasant words. Given my condition, we would have erupted in verbal abuses, as I did in my younger days.

As I thought about it and my quick change of emotions, I thought those were wise words. Many things in life can be reduced to small matters if we see them as such and don't fret over them. Like in the case of my Chee Cheong Fun, it cost only $2 and yet I became irrationally mad over it and caused an unpleasant scene for my family.

Why did I became angry so quickly? Was it necessary? It boils down to pride, in my self assessment of my actions. It was easy to be angry with my spouse, whom I tend to take for granted. If it was my boss or colleagues, I would have easily waved off the matter.

I need clear eyes to see with perspective and not get unnecessarily angry. I need to exercise more grace and cut more slack for my family members. I am still far from it as this second episode shows. Lord continue to grant me grace to get a hold of my emotions.

And for the record, we finished both plates of the Chee Cheong Fun. Well, almost.

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