15 July 2007

Sunday Worship: Routine or Re-energized?

Today seems like an ordinary Sunday. Arriving late for worship. Mumbling through songs, because they are new to me, and also they are too fast to sing at 8am. Listening to the Pastor preach and unconsciously criticising his sermon. Standing up for the closing prayer and song. Leaving quietly by the back door. 

Is this what Church is, or should be? 

I asked myself where is the part that I commune with God. Where are those times where He spoke clearly through the speaker and draws a tear and a poignant response in me for action? Is it because God is not here? Or that I am mentally somewhere else? 

For the whole process to work well, it need to begin on Saturday night. I need to sleep early and prepare to meet God throughout the week doing my regular devotions. These I did not for the past week and hence I struggled.

On Sunday morning, it did not help when the kids wanted to sleep later and are a "pain in the neck" to wake. After waking the family, and getting them out of the main door, I felt that my  worshipful frame of mind has been skewed towards anger and sometimes frustrations. I need to re-focus here and settle down quickly in the sanctuary. 

It would help, for myself, at least, if there are some tangible things for me in worship. The professional singers and preaching have sometimes turned the whole thing into a performance and me into a spectator. In the OT era, the people brought the unblemished animals for sacrifice. It was a hands-on thing. There was blood and gore, smell and splattering. They cannot be sleeping through the whole process. True, I understand  it is difficult for something like that to happen now. But, some increased level of involvement would be good. 

Maybe, that's where ministry comes in. And maybe since I'm not serving, that's why I'm feeling dry. 

Reminded from the sermon today in Nehemiah 9, that God is the One who gives because that is His character, and He is committed to give because He is faithful. He has provided for the Israelites (2 million plus people) for 40 years in the wilderness, and they are not in want (Neh.9:21). I have strayed away from His provisions, struggling to give myself peanuts and am constantly in want. What a sad contrast! 

It is time for me to return to Him. I should start to be giving (by serving), after idling for so long. Take me Lord...



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